India’s Top Diplomatic Moments Since August 2019

Since India decided to fully annex occupied Kashmir and impose a crippling siege, it’s been making some…interesting…diplomatic choices. Who knew how ‘incredible’ India truly was! Here’s some of India’s top diplomatic moments since August 2019!

Number 1

Jaishankar Refuses to Meet Jayapal

Remember when Indian Minister of External Affairs S. Jaishankar refused to meet with the members of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, because Indian-born congresswoman Pramila Jayapal was going to be there? Jayapal co-sponsored a resolution to urge all restrictions be lifted from Kashmir? Silly her. She should have known that Jaishankar won’t meet with her now. How will she sleep at night?!

In all seriousness, Jaishankar’s cancellation of his meeting with Jayapal is interesting. It shows exactly how petty and insecure the “world’s largest democracy” is that it can take NO pushback. Literally none.

Number 2

Debbie Abrahams’ Visa Denial

Debbie Abrahams, who’s a Labour Member of Parliament in the UK, had her visa request to India denied. Why? That was never explained. But using what we know about Abrahams, let’s try to figure this mystery out together.

Abrahams chairs a parliamentary group on Kashmir and has shown concerns around the revoking of the semi-autonomous status of the region, and the human rights violations there.

I think we found our answer.

It seems as though anyone who pushes against the Indian government’s decision will suffer consequences. Maybe if Debbie Abrahams cosigned human right violations, she’d be allotted a visa. But alas, she has integrity, ergo, no visa.

It’s a shame really.

Number 3

Modi’s New York Times piece on Gandhi

Irony at its finest. In October 2019, Modi wrote an opinion piece on Gandhi for The New York Times. Now, we aren’t the biggest fans of the Mahatma given his role in consolidating India’s occupation of Kashmir, the racism, the Islamophobia, and so on. But, that’s not the only ironic part. Modi praises Gandhi for his ideas, how the world can learn from them, and how to use these ideas for a better future. But this is where the punchline comes into play. Modi is a life-long member of the RSS, a fascist Hindu supremacist organization. Gandhi was murdered by a ….. Member of the RSS. Yes.

Wonder how much the NYT got paid/pressured to run the most ironic op/eds of all time?

Number 4

Malaysian Palm Oil Drama

It seems as though India did not appreciate Malaysia’s criticism towards their new citizenship law and India’s dealing with Kashmir. Like a big baby, India, the world’s top buyer of palm oil, decided on no longer buying Malaysian palm oil, with exports falling 85%. Yikes. Does Israel-ji make palm oil?

Number 5

Jaishankar and Lindsay Graham

This Jaishankar is on a roll. He attended the Munich Security Conference in Germany, where he was part of a panel discussion that also featured US Senator Lindsey Graham. When Senator Graham highlighted the many conflicts in the world that passed, hoping the Kashmir conflict would end differently due to India and Pakistan being democracies, Jaishankar responded by saying “Don’t worry, Senator. One democracy will settle it. And you know which one.”

Well for one, Graham is using the word “democracy” loosely. What democracy imposes an internet crackdown that lasts months? Or blinds thousands of people, including children, via pellet guns? What about pogroms targeting Muslims in the capital city of said democracy? Sounds like a democracy, minus the democracy. For Jaishankar to proudly poke his chest out in the name of democracy is laughable.

Jaishankar also sounds like a pompous colonizer. “One democracy will settle it” sounds like exactly what India is planning…building settlements. We turn to this next.

Number 6

Sandeep Chakravorty on the “Israeli” model

Following August 5th, India’s intentions with Kashmir have become clear: to change the demographics of Kashmir. What does this mean? Kashmir is currently a Muslim-majority region. India wants to change that. How, you ask? A good old ethnic cleansing, of course. The only question was HOW is India going to go through with ethnic cleansing in Kashmir. Well, Sandeep Chakravotry has an answer! In a closed meeting, the Indian consul-general, based in NYC, was caught on camera claiming there was already a model set for India to follow, hinting at Israel and their settlements in Palestine.

Well at least we can thank Sandeep ji for keeping it real.

 

Above Graphic by @Vivakasheer

Number 7

Far-right EU Parliamentarians and Diplomatic Envoys

In order to prove Kashmir is “normal”, India invited a delegation of 27 politicians last October, most of whom were far-right MPs from the European Union. India thought that by bringing a bunch of bigots, international condemnation would be subdued.

The delegates, meanwhile, enjoyed a shikara ride on the Dal Lake. Kashmiris were still under lockdown, so they got to see how normal things usually are there!

Number 8

The Deradicalization Camps Idea

During a panel discussion in New Delhi in mid-January, Gen. Bipin Rawat claimed that children in Kashmir needed to be put in deradicalization camps.

Isn’t that a bit….radical?

The insane idea to create deradicalization camps and separate children from their families seems to be fool proof. What can go wrong? This is how one wins the heart of a people: by bringing up the idea of placing them in a concentration camp.

This is the same guy who gave an award to an Indian army major who had tied a young Kashmiri man to an army jeep and used him as a human shield.

 

 

Number 9

“Kashmir is a bilateral issue. No, it’s an internal issue. Wait, there is no issue.”

Ah. Last, but not least, India’s go-to argument. Whenever another country such as the United States offers to mediate the Kashmir issue, you can bet your bottom dollar that India will claim “Kashmir is a bilateral issue with Pakistan”. But wait, there’s more.

Whenever Pakistan approaches India in regards to Kashmir, you guessed it, India calls Kashmir an internal issue, rendering all communication with Pakistan useless. That’s not all!

When Kashmiris raise concerns to India, well, India says there is no problem at all.

Yikes. If dodging a conversation was an olympic sport, we know which nation would get the gold every year. I guess that’s something to be proud of…right?